I founded Nerd Fitness way back in 2009. Wherever you are coming from, I’m glad you are here. Every week, I send out a short email that’s guaranteed to make you live a tiny bit better, think a little deeper, and overcome the obstacles that get in the way.
Nick Cave has taken over my life for the past month.
Mr. Cave has been putting out music since the mid 1980s with his band Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. He’s also a writer, screenwriter, poet, and all-around interesting dude.
His band’s most famous song, “Red Right Hand,” serves as the theme song for the show Peaky Blinders, which I have been watching this summer.
And last week, Nick Cave turned up again in my life, and I can’t stop thinking about his words.
In a recent interview with Stephen Colbert, Cave talked about a letter he received from a fan who struggled to find hope as a young father:
“Following the last few years, I’m feeling empty and more cynical than ever….do you still believe in us [human beings]?”
Which is why I was so damn moved by Nick’s reply, which I promise you is worth the watch:
Because I’m a nice guy I took the liberty of writing out Cave’s reply here:
"My early life was spent holding the world and the people in it in contempt. It was a position both seductive and indulgent.
The truth is, I was young and had no idea what was coming down the line.
It took a devastation to teach me the preciousness of life and the essential goodness of people…
…It took a devastation to find hope.”
Here I paused the video, and learned that Cave’s 15-year old son had accidentally fallen to his death back in 2015.
Armed with this knowledge, I continued watching the video and was moved to tears:
“Unlike cynicism, hopefulness is hard-earned, makes demands upon us, and can often feel like the most indefensible and lonely place on Earth.
Hopefulness is not a neutral position.
It's adversarial.
It is the warrior emotion that can lay waste to cynicism."
Hope Plus Acceptance
I’ve written about acceptance quite a bit in this newsletter, as it’s the skill I’ve had to work hardest at developing for myself over the past few years.
I’m now realizing that acceptance combined with hope is the most powerful path forward when we are trying to navigate life.
It’s not just having passive hope that “things will work out.” After all, things might not work out. At least, not the way we expect them to.
Rather, it’s actively cultivating hopefulness that we can endure whatever comes our way.
“Hope needs to be “something you do,” not “something you feel.”
Hope can be practiced by locating a deep desire, value, or commitment and taking a step towards it.
…While optimism is the sense that everything will be okay, people who are hopeful have the understanding that things may not be okay, but that they have agency to make things a little better for themselves or for others.”
Hopefulness is the warrior emotion that lays waste to the resistance in our heads.
Hopefulness helps us realize “Even if life is a dumpster fire, I have the ability to endure and survive whatever ball of chaos is heading my way.”
I leave you with this today:
Whatever goal you are working towards, whatever struggle you find yourself stuck on, no matter where you find yourself in the game of life…
I hope this newsletter reminds you that you have agency.
I hope this newsletter reminds you that any progress you make today, no matter how small, is powerful.
As Nick concludes in the final moments of the video above:
“Each redemptive or loving act, as small as you'd like, such as reading to your little boy, or showing him a thing you love, or singing him a song, or putting on his shoes keeps the devil down in the hole.
It says the world and its inhabitants have value and are worth defending.
It says the world is worth believing in.
In time, we come to find that this is so.”
-Steve
PS: I'm hosting a livestream next week where Matt from Team NF and I are going to be teaching you what to ignore and what's important on your quest to get healthy. If you already get my emails, just click here to be added to get reminder emails and the recording.
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Hi there. I'm Steve.
I founded Nerd Fitness way back in 2009. Wherever you are coming from, I’m glad you are here. Every week, I send out a short email that’s guaranteed to make you live a tiny bit better, think a little deeper, and overcome the obstacles that get in the way.
To view this email as a webpage, click here For the first time in 10+ years, I rewatched my 2012 TEDx talk: “Nerd Fitness and Resetting the Game of Life.” My first thought: “Whoa, Steve. Those are some EPIC sideburns.” My next thought: “Bold choice with the striped shirt, jeans, and flip flops!” Then I gave myself some grace. I’m deeply uncomfortable with the spotlight. I hate public speaking. It makes me want to vomit every single time. I also don’t like being on camera. And yet, I have...
To view this email as a webpage, click here For a long time, I took a lot of pride in never needing to rely on other people. I am a conflict-avoidant people-pleaser, so I would often pride myself on NEVER allowing myself to rely on others. I certainly wouldn’t let myself burden somebody else with my struggles. I jokingly shared how I felt about asking for help the other day on Instagram: I would gladly help others without a second thought. But saw it as a character flaw for myself (and ONLY...
To view this email as a webpage, click here Getting in shape is difficult. Every day, there’s a new trend on social media, a new supplement launched, a new secret workout strategy. It’s confusing, frustrating, and demoralizing. For the past fifteen years, I’ve done my damndest to try and cut through all this crap and help busy people get to the truth and forget the rest. I’ve written about 1000 articles on pretty much every topic related to exercise or nutrition. Here’s the thing: the fact...
