I founded Nerd Fitness way back in 2009. Wherever you are coming from, I’m glad you are here. Every week, I send out a short email that’s guaranteed to make you live a tiny bit better, think a little deeper, and overcome the obstacles that get in the way.
For a long time, I took a lot of pride in never needing to rely on other people.
I am a conflict-avoidant people-pleaser, so I would often pride myself on NEVER allowing myself to rely on others. I certainly wouldn’t let myself burden somebody else with my struggles.
I would gladly help others without a second thought. But saw it as a character flaw for myself (and ONLY myself) if I asked for help.
I believed that this was one of my strengths: figuring everything out on my own and being available to help everybody else but NEVER asking others for help or guidance.
I’ve come to realize how silly - and harmful - this mentality was. And I’ll drill the point home in two wholesome ways.
Asking For Help is a Sign of Strength
Lord of the Rings has been at the front of my mind for the past week.
Season 2 of Rings of Power recently started (and early reviews are saying it’s a marked improvement over Season 1, which has me excited!).
I also listened to a 3-part series about The Lord of the Rings on the What Went Wrong? Podcast.It covers how this trilogy came to life, just how many things had to go right, and what a monumental feat it was bringing Tolkien to the big screen in such incredible and cinematically brilliant fashion.
Thinking about Middle Earth and Lord of the Rings reminded me of one of the memes that inspired me to start therapy. If Aragorn, the manliest man ever (okay he’s Numenorean and part-elf, but you know what I mean) leaned on his friends…maybe it’s okay for me to lean on others for help too.
Asking For Help is a Super Power
While I reflected on writing this newsletter, I stumbled across a video that brought a massive smile to my face.
Powerlifter/personal trainer Sherein Abdelhady was filming herself doing heavy deadlifts in a commercial gym, and a random dude approached her between sets and asked one of the most wholesome questions I’ve ever seen in a gym interaction:
“Hey this is a weird request…but can you teach me how to deadlift?”
His request was polite and respectful, and Abdelhady was more than happy to help!
As a result, this guy learned how to deadlift from somebody who knew much more than he did in that area! And now this guy will have a better experience (and probably save himself from injury) for the rest of his life doing this incredible exercise.
What a super power! Props to this guy for being a real human, and recognizing that asking for help and being open to learning is a freaking superpower.
I’m used to seeing videos of women who are approached by jerks who offer unsolicited advice or mansplain (with terrible recommendations) to women who are far more knowledgeable than the jerk..
So this was an incredible flip of the script. I love it.
Asking For Help (One Last Thought)
I’ll leave you with one final thought before I ask YOU for a request.
When I ask for help, I have a tendency to follow it up with “I owe you one.”
I have to stop myself EVERY TIME somebody helps me, and instead of saying “i owe you one,” I simply thank them. I know that I would gladly help them without expecting a favor in return. I help because it’s the right thing to do!
Here’s my question for you today:
Is there a part of your life where you’ve avoided asking for help, trying to figure it all out on your own?
Can you reframe this in a more useful way? One that sees asking for help as a sign of intelligence and strength - not weakness.
Can you reach out for help today, and NOT say “thanks I owe you one” and instead just pay it forward?
Ask for help! It’s good enough for Aragron, and this nerdy dude in the gym…it’s probably okay for you too.
-Steve
PS: Speaking of asking for help, I’m leading a free, live talk tomorrow night (Wednesday 9/3/24 6pm EST) with Coach Matt from Team NF where we’re going to literally tell you EXACTLY what to do to get in shape. And bring your questions! I'm glad to help!
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Hi there. I'm Steve.
I founded Nerd Fitness way back in 2009. Wherever you are coming from, I’m glad you are here. Every week, I send out a short email that’s guaranteed to make you live a tiny bit better, think a little deeper, and overcome the obstacles that get in the way.
To view this email as a webpage, click here On December 19th, 2001, The Fellowship of the Ring hit theaters and nerd culture was forever changed. If you’re like me, you associate these movies with the holidays and are about to rewatch all three films (extended editions obviously). I was rewatching the Fellowship recently, and I had a funny thought. While they’re in the Mines of Moria, Gandalf is reading the final entry in the Book of Mazarbul, the diary of Balin and his fellow dwarves and...
To view this email as a webpage, click here A few years back, I attended my friend Nick’s blowout 40th birthday party. As part of the celebration, he hired an improv comic, and we all had to participate in learning improv comedy. (I just felt the collective shiver of all the introverts reading this newsletter). We started tossing out fun scenarios and scenes to participate in, and we learned about the most important rule of Improv:“Yes and.” Two simple words, and the foundation for all of...
To view this email as a webpage, click here I’m a huge Stephen King fan. I’ve read the whole Dark Tower Series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie ever is based on his novella, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. So, at the behest of multiple friends who told me it’s their favorite book, I finally started reading 11/22/63. Here’s the head-exploding premise: On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed. What if...
